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please come back. [Mar. 9th, 2010|10:30 am]
Link4 swabs to spread your butter

(no subject) [Nov. 11th, 2009|10:34 pm]
i think i may need crack. 
Link3 swabs to spread your butter

SUN SUN SUN [Jul. 4th, 2009|10:50 pm]


many times i ask myself why i still keep this degrading, evanescing creation most people call a blog. truthfully i havent found a reason compelling or valid enough to answer my own question, but looking through my archives today made me think.

i always worshipped this priviledge to air my views, and was completely commited to this freedom (those who know me well know that this may not be very true) this blog contains more than an assembly of past ideas or old memories that serve as reminders of the vague past. but most importantly, it reflects various transformatiions of myself through the years and remind me not to revert to personalities that are..not too desirable. i guess it's this thread of fidelity that binds me still to this blog, that prevents me from leaving entirely.



as a sidenote, my long absence have rendered me helpless against capitalisation, i cant type in the proper case!

Link3 swabs to spread your butter

happy birthday world. [Jan. 1st, 2009|12:28 pm]
you've successfully revolved a round around the sun and become a year older.
Link1 swab to spread your butter

cheap thrills. [Oct. 15th, 2008|08:43 pm]

( Lyrics )

DISNEY IS EVERYWHERE.
i can't believe i grew up on this. (lucky it's not tainted with melamine)

"street smart?"
"more like sesame street smart."

Link6 swabs to spread your butter

CHEAP THRILLS (again.) [Aug. 28th, 2008|09:31 pm]
[Mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

Since someone has so graciously tagged me to do this quiz, here goes.
(and i will answer the questions preferably to the best of my ability, whether or not they satisfy your various pleasures are solely based on your discretion.)

Do you like waking up in the morning to find that you have new texts?
- Yes.

Are you usually wide awake in the mornings?
- No.

Has anything disappointed you today?
-Yes.

When is the last time you saw the person you like/liked?
- No.

How old were you when you started swimming on your own?
- So the story begins with me as a lilliputian (yet potent!) creature, swimming with 50 million other good mates. The swimming technique that I exercised is uncertain as it apparently appears to be tainted by an unknown white substance and is therefore hidden by a shroud of obscurity, but i somehow spontaneously recall that we each possessed a tail that derived all our internal energy from something in our middle-piece (abdomen) called the mitochondria. Along the way (which i vaguely remember as some sort of tube), this kind samaritans called Cowper and Prostate gave us some obscure liquid that mystically empowered our tail to beat at an extremely alarming rate.
Then! In one corner of my eye, i spotted something white and round and mysterious that seemed to exude the crying aura "please enter me!" (again, i think this happened in some sort of hollow tube). My chromatin kicked into action, internally debating on whether it was ethical to enter something that was stranger than fiction. Although my chromatin only had half the intelligence of any other normal species, it decided on the only rational action-- enter. So i followed orders and entered the round thing into the white flurry of oblivious thoughts and strengths, and my life energy died along with my tail which was conveniently left outside of the round object. THEN I FUSED WITH SOMETHING THAT SPONTANEOUSLY EMPOWERED ME WITH A NORMAL INTELLIGENCE, capable of realising that I am not answering the question that I was originally asked. But, yeah the first time i swam, i won.

Are you wearing rings?
- Waffles!

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
- Which brings us to the question, what are butterflies exactly? Taking the biologist point of view, a butterfly is a naturally occurring insect that flutters about with shiny bling wings to pollinate flowers and can be equated to mastication fodder by predators. Which then brings to the mind, am i a predator? Yes, in some ways. But a consumer of butterflies? No. (unless they're fried with truckloads of chicken and beef and sugar and honey and whatever that can kill the taste)

Are you confident in yourself?
-Are you confident of pimples?

Are you hanging out with anyone tonight?
- No.

Does it bother you when you text somebody and they take forever to text back?
- No.

What's your favorite milkshake flavor?
- Honeydew.

Are you currently doing laundry?
- No, i am currently typing this.

Did you ever read any of the Babysitters Club books?
- Did you ever uncover a rock that had your name and your father's name engraved under it? No.

Do you have a job?
- No. I have a hand though.

What can't you wait for?
- Whatever matter that doesn't allow me to wait, cases like chinese homework with deadlines.

What brand is your shirt right now?
-100% cotton. Size M.

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
-I'm don't mind people coming out of the closet every so often. But it remains closed.

Are you in an argument with someone important?
-No.

What is bothering you right now?
- Bio past year papers, Chem past year papers, Physics past year papers and pressure from a certain some angry chinese teacher.

Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do?
- Has never occured to me so i dont know if it annoys me or not.

What's the worst abuse you have done to your phone?
- Hmm, worst abuse, this is really tough. Maybe when i call someone, since the phone is physically abused because it's pressed to my ear and cannot free itself and therefore is deprived from all forms of movement.

Who was the last person to make you cry?
- None whatsoever.

If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
- Anywhere where i'll be freed from Bio past year papers, Chem past year papers, Physics past year papers and pressure from a certain some angry chinese teacher.

Where is your cell phone?
- I've got a thing in my pocket. But my phone is suprisingly on the shelf collecting enough dust until i liberate it later.

Does anyone call you baby?
- No.

Are you honestly happy with who you are?
- Yes.

If you're being extremely quiet, what does that mean?
- It means that my chinese teacher is in session.

What celebrities do you find attractive?
- Yelle.

Are you single?
- Yes.

Are you a patient person?
- Of course. To meet pretty nurses, you must be patient.

Are you a light sleeper or heavy sleeper?
- Depending on whether or not i'm tired.

Is there any emotion you're trying to avoid right now?
- Why so serious?

Does it take a lot to make you cry?
-

Think of all your exes, Would you take any of them back?
-  This question doesn't apply to me.

What do you do when your nervous?
- Breathe.

What does the newest text message in your inbox say?
- 'haha alright, see you then' by Jolyn Tan 71

Who was the last person you held hands with?
- Mum, when i was a prepube young boy of maybe 4.

Do you flirt a lot?
- Absolutely not. I am chaste and innocent at heart.

Would you ever consider having a relationship with your best friend?
- No, that would be gay.

Who gives you the best advice?
- Edwin.

What piercings do you want to get?
- Maybe i would like to pierce my eyeballs or my scalp or the soles of my feet for a change.

Do you listen to Blink 182?
- Do you like the smell of the armpit hair of Leonardo Da Vinci? No.

How are you currently feeling?
- Stressed.


aKLSHFLKAJSLKFJLKAJSLFKJALKSJFLKAJSLKFjlkjlkJALSKJflkjLAKSJflkjALSKfjlkajsflkLAKSJflk
Damn it, i can feel myself in a state of inertia, slowly degenerating, de...gener..ating...

Link16 swabs to spread your butter

thank no one for no mercies. [Jul. 29th, 2008|07:14 pm]
[Mood |discontentdiscontent]

"What does not kill you makes you stronger."
What kills you, however, leaves you pretty much hanging dead.

With that, i offer an absolutely apt illustration that will really make you wish you opted for biology class.

Anyway!
factors such as the random unprecedented sprouting of blogs from happy and constructive students of 4D and the fact that this has been one of the most historic events in my sad life as a poor sod has driven me to update. Just for fun.

Recently,
i haven't been as cheerful as old times (not that my sad life permits me), drifting towards my craven self, and allowing me to contemplate existentialism once more in my hollow store of reverberations and echoes. Yet, it is comforting, as the night breeze sweeps past like a silent episode, ready to prowl and satisfy its gallivanting desires by feeding on my thoughts which i fling to them as tribute for their silent acknowledgement. The trees under the streetlights do not mutter a word, even as the wind bring my thoughts to them. And for a split second bound by a thread of fidelity, i mutter something incomprehensible. SUCH AS! LASKJFLKASJFLKAJSLFKJASLKFJALSKFJLASKFKjlAJSFKJASLKFJLAKSFLKASJFLKAJSLFKJASLFKJl which almost instantaneously destroys my chain of thought and frees me from imagination.

"What does not kill you makes you stronger."
Chinese: 49/100 kills me and leaves me pretty much hanging dead.
Link13 swabs to spread your butter

FRET NOT [Apr. 30th, 2008|11:07 pm]
[Mood |amusedamused]

Oh a kay! before i spontaneously combust or hyperventilate out of extreme blitheness,
STAY CALM. stay calm. stay calm. STAY CALM.

Realisation epic for get digest to, yes/no.

"Wah! Siao-eh that guy, he gay ah?"
ANYWAY!
'twas an unconventional sunny day with a slight tinge of grey when the upper echelons of this higher institute of learning, and three others in fact, strode forth in baseball caps and PE attire and DECIDED.
(honestly, the sequence of events didn't involve so much splendor, but i shall continue! since it facilitates reading and stuff.)

They DECIDED.
Yes, THEY DECIDED.
"Hurry up lehx, i don't like your suspense"
"Oh okay, solleh"

So! These highly authorised personnel DECIDED that on the 30th of April, they are going to organise a fun-filled day filled with not just fun, but also fun-filled activities, and activities that are not solely just fun, but also challenging to the physical fitness of the young and bubbly erudite populace of HWACHONG INSTITUTION, HWACHONG INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL and not to forget, our lovely neighbors from across the bridge, NANYANG GIRLS HIGH. Thus they formulated this weird sounding abbreviation specially for the event, that is so intricately wonderful and full of wow.

CSM (see-es-ehm)
  1. Combined Sports Meet

  2. Equivalent to the Sabbath in terms of importance and attendance.

  3. Also surprisingly equivalent to today.


Anyway! that's besides the point.
THE POINT IS! The day started off with a bang. Then i have absolutely no idea what happened after that.

What i do know, however,
is that my friend Edwin got a dare.
In the scattered diaspora of fast-moving refugee-like students between two electrodes of an electrolysis machine, largely the boy end moving to the girl end and vice versa, someone dared us to start a FREE HUGS campaign. What i am glad to say is! that we broke away from the rusty traditional norms and navigated amongst the crowd with aplomb, carrying a small piece of paper that can be roughly made out to say "FREE HUGS".

OH THE EXPRESSIONS ON EVERYONE'S FACES WHEN THEY HEARD US WAS CLASSIC. I should've attached a dingy spycam on my forehead and captured all their facial expressions.
"(cheesy tune plays) You're on candid camera!"

The first 10 minutes or so was filled with dreary feelings as we ravaged around in the vast dessert of a crowd, searching for any student that was willing to break away from his/her conservative Asian values and come forth to receive a warm embrace. At the start, the prospects of success were bleak, as if our plan (and our dare, for that matter) to brighten the day of the others was  a predestined failure. It was tough, navigating through the crowd and witnessing all their blurry visages filled with disgust. And i distinctly remember i was thinking about the word deus ex machina and if it that would save our sorry hides from the critics. But nothing happened as we fumbled around in the crowd, it was a very sad scene.

Suddenly!
A VESTIGE OF HOPE SHINES UPON US. Out of nowhere, a young hwach boy ran forth and embraced us with raging enthusiasm. The feeling of accomplishment could be only aptly described by "!" It felt revolutionarily good.
(lester breaks out of his serious shell and enters his comic scene)
AS IF THERE WERE SOME FORM OF DIVINE INTERVENTION THAT SPONTANEOUSLY CHANGED THE CONSERVATIVE MINDSET OF THE PEOPLE AROUND US, what actually appeared to be a excellent repulsion device was immediately transformed into one that brought smiles to people, however gay it may sound. People started embracing us with the full fervor of their hearts. It wasn't a dessert after all, it soon became a tropical island with a beautiful beach and a heartwarming sun (minus the effects of skin cancer). And we were the advocators of this "HAPPY HAPPY SMILE" movement. Yes, I know it is still a dare. But!

I AM PROUD TO SAY WE LOST COUNT OF THE NUMBER OF HUGS WE GAVE AWAY. Not because i phail at math, but because the number greatly exceeded two hands and all four limbs, for that matter.

Somehow someway we gathered an entire entourage behind us, as we continued on our journey, trying to make everyone a happy child. Stalls used us to promote their drinks, and in return some of them sponsored our grand movement by helping us build a bigger banner, so that the word could be spread, even to the myopics, in the region.

AND! the interesting part was that we managed to bring joy to some of the upper echelons of education in hwach. Namelist goes here: [info]imeddyeddy since i can't be bothered to type them all out. And the story continues! as some random Hwachong international girl decided to join us in our campaign.
"WAO, IT'S A GIRL! IT'S A GIRL!"
Hugcount increased exponentially.
Yes, i know it is still a dare. BUT!

It was immensely invigorating to hear compliments about the campaign, as we continued to punk and plan guerilla appearances with the banners after our meal at KAP after the entire CSM event. With our banners raised in the air towards the traffic, some guy actually stuck his head out of his car and demanded a hug as he whizzed past.
"KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE! KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE! WE CANNOT AFFORD TO LAUGH."
Those awaiting for the buses, both literate and illiterate were craning their necks to see what the banners read, and a great deal of them laughed, or smiled at that. Some suspicious damsels actually thought that someone was filming a reality show and started looking about for a camera that may be hidden in some subtle crevice.

AKSJDLKAJDSLKAJD. ANYWAY YES I KNOW IT WAS A DARE. BUT I STILL MUST SAY THIS, I HOPE WE BRIGHTENED THE DAY OF THOSE WHO SAW US AND I WOULD LIKE THANK ALL THOSE WHO HAVE HELPED US IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER FOR THIS CAMPAIGN.

AKSJFKAJFSLAKFLKALJFAF. Suffering from free hugs withdrawal symptoms, i need crack.
"All throes of orgasmic expressions awake!"
Link25 swabs to spread your butter

A solemn autoeulogy [Dec. 15th, 2007|06:39 pm]
[Mood |calmcalm]

HELLO TO YOU, DEAR AUDIENCE OF FROLICKING HAPPY SINGAPORE.

Flying off till the 15th of the January of the 2008!
and be totally girl-void in the mysterious land of beijing. Much joy.

Bye bye to the you.
:(' pray hope i don't choke on one of those cardboard fishballs.
Link3 swabs to spread your butter

DEAF TO ALL BUT SONG [Dec. 6th, 2007|09:54 pm]
[Mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

Probably after working my iTunes into oblivion for the past few days.

The holidays haven't been entirely eventful, if not entirely useless.
'tis the season for slackers to level up! Come forth and you shall receive this amazing gift of gallivanting and procrastinating!

Image from deviantart


Cower and kneel before this incredible ability!
Not only does it not make things productive, it also doesn't spruce up your holiday life.

'twas a nice rainy morning of snooze and snooze alarms alike, when i received a random smack on the head by some random thingmajig.
IT WAS THEN WHEN I MY BRAIN CONJURED THE POWER OF THOUGHT.

Facing the ceiling, i immediately contemplated existentialism and had rationalism scream at me.
Yegods, "ENLIGHTENMENT HATH DAWNETH!"

I HAVE WASTED AN ENTIRE HOLIDAY WASTING MY ENTIRE HOLIDAY OFF.

Anyway,
I have (once again!) discovered solutions for my present situation. But wait! there is no such thing as the present. There is only the immediate future and the recent past and therefore i have to accept the fact that what i have just typed has just been stored in the archives of the past and will never be brought to light in the honorary future! The future is now, no wait, it is now, it is never now. The future is later and all that is past has been reduced to a plaything, simply a figment of a memory that i don't hold dear. Bugger.
"Look, digression!"

Back to the topic, or lack thereof.
I am now high on Nerds, pray hope the sugar rush doesn't wear off until i finish this light-hearted post.

Oh well, the holidays have been really monotonous and all, without the upper echelons of educational institutes riding forth and dumping homework unceremoniously around us. Not that homework's a very fun task either.

BUT!
A vestige of opportunity sparkles! I now offer you a comprehensive list of holiday playthings that you can adopt when you've run out of peanuts.
Dispel and begone, O' spirits of dreariness and communism, for your efforts have now come to naught.

I offer you a handy guide.
"So you wanna be a playa!"

1. Learn Chinese and other related dialects.

WE THE CITIZENS OF SINGAPORE MUST BE MULTI RACIAL AND HARMONIOUS WITH OTHER RACES SO THAT OUR ECONOMY WILL BOOM AND GST CAN INCREASE! WAHAHAHA.
AND AS A CHINESE, WE MUST RESPECT OUR OWN ROOTS AND HAVE A COMPLETE MASTERY OF THE LANGUAGE TO BE IN TUNE WITH OUR FRIENDS FROM CHINA! ONLY THEN CAN WE BRIDGE STRONG RELATIONS WITH OUR ANCESTORZ AND THE GREAT CHINA LAND.
After all, "Huayu cool". Chinese is a cool language in it's own rights! Don't  xiao4! It's fo reel!
Not that we want to boast, but we also have our own S-POP lehzxz, poworful or not, you tell wo3.

       CHINESE (chahy-neez)

  1. AN AMAZINGLY EASY-TO-LEARN LANGUAGE

  2. Me

  3. Dad

  4. Mom

So go on, young and raging Chinese! Pick up a "CHINESE FOR DUMMIES" book from our da4zhong4shu1ju2 xian4zai4 and be a cool chinese cat.


2.  Watch Golf.

Firstly, WHO IN THE RIGHT MIND WATCHES GOLF?
yes, it's very very fun watching golfers swing their clubs and watching the ball roll and roll and not drop into the hole.
"HAHA LOL LOSER, NO MORE HOLE-IN-ONE. NOOB"

As George Carlin puts it,
Watching golf is like watching flies fuck. (watch out! profanity lies there/here.)

BUT! there's always two sides to the issue at hand.
Watching Golf is highly recommended for agoraphobics who have absolutely no way of conceptualizing the image of grass.
Always wanted to know how grass looked like? Fret not! Watch golf.
I am very excite.

3. Facebook it.

Long were the times when people bit each other, in fear of becoming the sole werewolf howling everytime a full-moon appears on this face of the planet. Now, with revolutionary technology! People are able to bite each other online without actually becoming a werewolf in real-life! Marvel at what tech-dudes have done for us.  Oh the wond3rz of th3 int3rn3tz and fac3b00k!

Bite people all you want with this amazingly incredible application without the constant fear of rabies, STDS, and  actually-turning-into-a-werewolf et cetera et cetera!
"It's like a buffet without food, only delicious!'

PLUS!
With the advent of the technological age, you are now presented with choices! No longer are you force-fed with one single pathetic choice, you now have the ability to select your incarnation as vampires and suchs! (Cue card: Applause*)

And as a shameless advert!  joining as a facebook member will give you the priviledge of joining the famed group started by [info]jarsofdirt. "I FACEBOOK BECAUSE I'M BORED"  WAH. Now that you know what to do when you're bored, join facebook! Be my friend. Join the ranks of the appwhores.


4. Youtube.

AND as proof of it's awakening capabilities,

A parody of Heroes.

AND!
A parody of LOST.

For this, i've thought up 4 different scenarios for readers watching the videos i ripped-off from Youtube above.

1. You watch Heroes and understand what they're saying entirely and find it funny and luff your azz off at Hiro Nakamura (or in this case, the gay acting as him).
2. You watch Lost and understand what they're saying totally and luff your azz off. ROFL.
3. You actually watch both series and luff your azz off x2
4.You dont watch both series and don't luff your azz off x2


OH and plaything number 5.
If you belong to scenario 4 in plaything number 4, WATCH THEM. LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST. YAY.


Image from deviantart (again1)
 
kkk
End of handy guide.
"Guaranteed to solve your procrastination problems!" - A satisfied customer.

Oh k.
Good food at last, good food didn't last.
I RAN OUT OF NERDS.
!oneoneoneonoeonoeoneon11!!
Link spread your butter

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